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secure
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tips man 2 man
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Are you a guy who
has sex with other guys?
For some time
now, more men are contracting HIV and other sexually-transmitted
infections while having sex with other men. Even younger guys! The
risk of contracting HIV is ten times higher during sex between men
than it is in sex between a man and a woman.
This brochure
shows you how to play safe. No matter what the situation.
___top___
Instant gratification?
Anonymous sex and
instant gratification? Sometimes there’s no need for words. So each
partner has to know how to protect himself. Take responsibility for
yourself.
Time and again
Having
sex with guys you have known for a long time? Trust can sometimes be
misplaced, and assumptions can be wrong. Even if a past HIV test
turned out to be negative, that doesn’t mean it is still true today.
Talk to your partners about how to protect yourselves.
For ever
and ever
Met
the love of your life? Being in love can make talking about unpleasant
stuff or safer sex a little more difficult. Get some support – you
could go to Checkpoint.
In
a long-term relationship? Happiness and security depend on the
expectations you had and keeping promises you once made. Do they still
hold? Talk about it. And keep talking.
___top___
Safer sex
is your best protection!
==>
Always use
a condom for fucking
==>
No come in
the mouth when sucking
This
is true for anonymous sex, for fuck buddies or for sex with your
husband-to-be.
==>
Pick a condom that’s the right size. That way, it won’t break or
slip off. You can check your size on www.mysize.ch.
==>
Only use water- or silicon-based lube. Don’t use oil, Vaseline
etc. as these will damage the condom.
==>
If you do get sperm in your mouth then spit it right out! If possible,
rinse your mouth with a strong liquor like whiskey or cognac or just
plain water and spit that out, too.
___top___
==>
You can’t get hard or you lose your hard-on when you put on a
condom?
==>
Your partner doesn’t want to use a condom?
You
aren’t the only one with these problems.
Go
talk about it at Checkpoint or one of the local AIDS-service
organisations.
___top___
You
can reduce the chances of HIV infection by using emergency treatment
(PEP or post-exposure prophylaxis) within the first 72 hours after a
risky encounter – i.e. fucking without a condom or a condom broke
during fucking.
==>
Get advice straightaway from a
Checkpoint or one of the local AIDS-service organizations
==>
The quicker you seek treatment, the
lower the risk of infection.
==> PEP therapy is not
a substitute for safer sex!
Flu or
primo-infection?
==>
You had a risky encounter but didn’t follow-up with a PEP
consultation?
==>
In the weeks after you had flu-like symptoms (fever, headaches,
swollen glands, skin rash, muscle aches, diarrhoea, nausea etc.)?
These
could be signs of a primo-infection with HIV!
Go
straight to Checkpoint or to a HIV testing facility and get it checked
out
___top___
==>
It settles your fears and uncertainties. You can act better knowing
the facts.
==>
If you aren’t infected then you’re in luck! Next time, play safe
and save yourself all this stress.
==>
If you’ve been infected with HIV, then you can promptly start a
course of treatment. Starting earlier minimizes the risk of damage
to the immune system.
==>
If you’re in the early stages of infection, then you’re highly
contagious. Protect your sex partners and make sure you always
practice safer sex.
___top___
In
addition to HIV, there are other viruses, bacteria and fungi that can
be transmitted during sex – sometimes even when you practice safer
sex. Some of them are quite nasty and can increase the risk of HIV
infection.
The
most common infections are gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, chlamydia,
herpes and genital warts.
The
majority of these sexually transmitted infections (STI) are easy to
treat – if they are detected early enough.
How to detect uninvited
guests
==>
Discharge from the penis or the anus
==>
Burning sensation when peeing, itchness around the urethra
==>
Dull pain in anus
==>
Pain or swelling in your balls
==>
Lesions, blistering, rashes, redness on the penis, testicles, anus or
in the mouth
==>
Rashes
What to do with uninvited
guests?
==> Get it
checked out at Checkpoint, at your doctor’s or at a dermatology
clinic.
==> If you do
have a sexually transmitted infection, then tell your sexual partners
so that they can get tested and treated, too.
___top___
…then we
recommend that you:
==> Get
vaccinated for hepatitis A and B.
==> Get checked
out for sexually transmitted infections at least once every six
months.
==> You can do
this at Checkpoint, or you could find a doctor with whom you can
talk openly about your sex life.
==> If you are
HIV positive, then make sure you get tested for sexually transmitted
infections during your regular check ups!
___top___
Fucking
without condoms is possible with a long-term relationship. This
is how it works:
1. Go to
Checkpoint for a joint test and counselling.
2. For 3
months, have safer sex every time.
3. At the end
of 3 months have another joint test with your partner.
4. If you are
both HIV negative, then make a clear agreement: either we don’t
have sex with other men, or we only have safer sex with other men.
5. If one of
you breaks the agreement, then he should tell the other
immediately. Determine in advance how you want to do this. Revert to
having safer sex until you have both been tested to rule out an
infection.
How safe is this method?
It is extremely
safe if both parties can uphold the agreement.
==> If you both
decide to only have sex with each other, then it is doubly difficult
to tell your partner that you had unprotected sex with another
person: unfaithful and unsafe!
==> Talk about
the ‘worst-case scenario’ before it happens, and decide how you
will tell each other. This way, should it be necessary, you can tell
each other right away.
Is it possible to
reach such agreements with several partners and have joint tests with
all of them in order to have unprotected sex without worrying about
it?
In theory, yes.
However, many men are infected after having unprotected sex with
casual partners who they knew.
___top___
Lots of men try
to avoid HIV while fucking without a condom – even if they don’t
know their partner’s HIV status.
The most popular
assumptions – and whether they work – are presented on the
following pages.
___top___
It is important
to talk about HIV with your regular sex partners. However, asking
questions of new or casual sex partners doesn’t necessarily get you
the right answers, because:
==> Many men
with HIV don’t know that they are infected.
==> Many
HIV-positive men don’t tell their casual sex partners that they are
infected, for obvious reasons. Even if you ask them.
___top___
Tacit assumptions
about a sexual partner’s HIV status does not protect you. For
example:
You are HIV
negative and you think: if he were HIV positive, then he would protect
me from infection. But he doesn’t – so he must be HIV negative
like me.
You are HIV
positive and you think: if he were HIV negative, then he would protect
himself from infection. But he doesn’t – so he must be HIV
positive like me.
Perhaps both of
you are wrong and are therefore taking unnecessary risks!
___top___
HIV infection isn’t
something visible. You can’t tell whether someone is HIV positive or
HIV negative by looking at him.
Youth, good looks
or a muscular build can’t tell you anything about someone’s HIV
status or other sexually transmitted infections.
___top___
==> Withdrawing
before coming doesn’t reduce the risk of infection for the guy who’s
fucking (see opposite page).
==> The risk of
infection for the guy who’s being fucked is lower, but without a
condom, there is still a risk of infection even without ejaculation.
==> Finally, no
one can control coming 100%!
Pulling out is risky for both partners.
___top___
Only topping
doesn’t prevent an HIV infection. The top runs the risk of absorbing
HIV and other STI through the tip of his dick. You can still contract
HIV from topping.
___top___
HIV-positive
people with an effective course of antiretroviral therapy don’t
transmit the virus during sex, but only under 3 conditions:
1. The viral
load has been below detectable levels for at least six months.
2. Adherence to
HIV therapy and regular check ups by a doctor.
3. There are no
other sexually transmitted infections in neither partner (e.g.
syphilis).
And to whom does this
apply?
==> People in
long-term relationships in which one partner is HIV positive and the
other is HIV negative.
==> Only in a
trusting relationship can a HIV-negative person be certain that the
3 conditions are met.
==> Only then,
you can make a mutual decision on whether or not to use condoms with
the advice of a doctor.
Condoms should
still always be used in new relationships or for casual sex.
___top___
Are there any
other ways to reduce the risk of HIV infection without safe sex?
Circomecision: Cut
men have a lower risk of getting infected with HIV during sex with
women.
It is doubtful
whether this is also the case for men who have sex with other men. And
if it were true, then it would only be true for cut men who top during
fucking.
Circomecision does
not protect you from HIV infection nor from contracting any other
sexually transmitted infection.
Pills and gels:
There are studies underway that are looking at the use of pills (PrEP)
and gels (microbicides) which when used before sex are meant to reduce
the risk of HIV infection. Currently, there are no products available
that protect against HIV infection.
Do not take HIV
medications if you are not HIV positive! They will not work, and they
could do you a great deal of harm!
___top___
Go to www.aids.ch
and find the following under ADDRESSES/LINKS
==> The
addresses of the nearest AIDS-service organisations
==> The addresses
of all PEP clinics and testing centers
___top___
safer gay sex,
play hard, play safe
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