sex and male anus
Anal sex can be a pleasurable experience for gay men, but there
are a few things you should know before having anal sex and a few
tips to help ease the pain.
Know how the anus works. Before having anal sex, let's
talk about how the anus works. The anus is the opening at the end of
the colon which controls the passage of waste. Waste passes through
the small intestines to your colon, then your rectum and finally out
the anus. The opening and closing of the anus is controlled by the
internal and external sphincter muscles (the most important muscles
when engaging in anal sex). The sphincter muscle is a sensitive
membrane with many nerve endings and thus the source of pleasure or
pain.
Reduce the pain. Pain associated with anal sex can be due
to pressure or friction against the sphincter muscles, hemorrhoids or
anal fissures. Some pain can be reduced by properly lubricating. Seek
a gay-friendly doctor for assistance with hemorrhoids, fissures or
other medical conditions.
Get to know your body. The more familiar you are with
your body, the more enjoyable anal sex can be. Each person's sphincter
muscles react to penetration differently. Since the muscles control
the opening and closing of the anus, you need to learn how yours
works. Spend time safely exploring the sensitivity of your sphincter
and how it reacts when you are relaxed or tense. Practice relaxation
techniques such as deep breathing. Use a small sex toy, then gradually
increase the size. Exploring the sensitivity of your sphincter is an
exercise both you and your partner can enjoy prior to penetration.
Openly communicate how you feel in certain situations: What makes you
tense? What are your limits? Stop if you feel uncomfortable,
experience pain or bleeding. The more you both know about your bodies,
the better your anal sex experience.
Practice good hygiene. Many gay men shy away from anal
sex because of the possible hygiene problems. Maintaining proper
hygiene is not only important for an enjoyable anal sex experience,
but your health as well. Cleaning can be overdone, however. Be careful
with over the counter internal cleansing products. They contain harsh
ingredients not formulated for the anus. Also, avoid over wiping as
this can cause irritation and bleeding. Baby wipes also contain
perfumes that can irritate the skin. To properly clean, use
premoistened adult wipes, like Charmin Fresh Mates or Kleenex
Cottonelle Flushable Wipes.
Beware of the dangers of STD's.
(sexually transmitted diseases) The anus is a thin
membrane and therefore a hot bed for sexually transmitted diseases.
HIV and other
STD's can easily enter the bloodstream, especially when there are
abrasions or tears in the anus. Having a thin membrane between your
bloodstream and your partner's bodily fluids is what makes
bareback sex so dangerous. Always
use a condom and practice
safer sex.
Dispel anal sex myths. Many gay men avoid seeking medical
attention because they feel if they've had anal sex the doctor can
immediately tell. Yes, the anus is stretched after anal sex, but it
returns to normal soon after. If you think something may be wrong with
your anus, see a
gay-affirmative doctor.
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